Healing Perspective

Sunday, February 16, 2014


Coming off the Valentine holiday, I was really bothered by what I had noticed. This holiday is suppose to be about love but I found several commercials playing on people's insecurities. "Buy the biggest bouquet of flowers or the best gift to make the co-workers of your significant other jealous." Or "Is your wife still a member of the tiny diamond club?"

Why do people buy into these tactics? One word--significance. If they have the biggest bouquet or the most expensive piece of jewelry, or something that makes them seem better than someone else in their group, they feel significant. They feel they matter. They feel like they are apart of something special.

So is this a bad thing?

Feeling significant, and that you matter and that your are apart of something special is a human need everyone seeks. How and where you get it matters. If your focus is on the item and the status it brings, then this is a bad thing. If your focus is on the person giving the gift and what it meant to them to give this gift, then you are heading in a healthy direction. When you focus on the item you miss a bigger gift that is more sustaining than status. Status is fleeting and you continue to try and find it again somewhere, somehow. If your focus is on building love with the giver of the gift, you're headed in the right direction. If you can get the same gift anywhere and have the same feeling then you are heading in the right direction. People that you love should always be your focus not those that don't really matter. If someone is always trying to one up you, then they don't matter. They are focusing on the fear-based mindset of not fitting in or feeling special. If you are one of these people, don't fret. You've just became aware and now can change.

How can you change?

By focusing on your loved ones and not those that don't matter. You can give those you love a special gift by showing them your appreciation instead of taking away what they've done for you by focusing on the satisfaction of revenge to those that don't matter.

I would love to hear from you. How did you show your loved one your best this Valentine holiday?