Healing Perspective

Friday, June 27, 2014

PTSD Awareness Day

Today is National PTSD Awareness Day. Those of you that have PTSD or think you may have it, I'd like to talk directly to you. There is a stigma that comes with this diagnosis especially for those that are in the military. I didn't want this stigma either. I felt because I wasn't in a war that my trauma wasn't as bad and I shouldn't complain. I didn't want to be known as someone that was weak either. Eventually, I decided that I could no longer live the way I was (living in fear, feeling chaotic, and stressed out to name a short list), I decided something better change and quick. I felt a deep depression coming on. I hated all the struggles I had on a day to day basis and if this was the best I was going to get I didn't think I could endure too much more of it.

The first step was praying. I prayed for answers out of this hell. I didn't have the money for therapy and I again didn't want anyone to know or to be labeled with a mental health stigma. I've dealt with a lot in my lifetime and I couldn't understand why I could no longer deal with things. Prayer helped me to find answers here and there and I worked my way out of my hell. This may not work for everyone. I spent years and years studying human behavior so I was able to correct those issues first but I still needed help in dealing with the symptoms of PTSD like, triggered incidences, severe anxiety, and chaos.

Now I'm able to manage my symptoms of PTSD. What I realized was that the fear surrounding the stigma boils down to that we are afraid of what others will think and/or if we admit we have a problem then that could mean we are weak or broken. We fear that we'll be perceived as incompetent, weak, and mentally not right. That fear of what others think including what we think is what is holding us back from healing. We fear that if we are broken that we can't be fixed. We aren't broken. We simply need knowledge and tools. I read a study. In this study, it suggests that those that have had trauma in their childhood is more likely to develop PTSD. If we've endured several things that were traumatic it's my belief that we weren't taught the right tools to keep from developing PTSD. It's not our fault and we aren't too weak. We are strong. We just need that knowledge and few tools. Therapist can help. We need to stop worrying about things like what others think or what we will be labeled as because getting well is what is really important.

Another reason we may not seek help is that it doesn't truly make sense in our mind. (This is for those less severe cases.) We feel fine in a lot of areas. We feel strong. We feel intelligent except when the symptoms rear their ugly head. Then the symptoms betray our true selves confusing us making us feel that we aren't strong. If we can deal with the symptoms and behavioral issues we will not be ruled by PTSD.

PTSD isn't a disorder that has anything to do with intelligence, weakness, or the like. It's more like having a brand new shiny car and with every life experience a "ding" here or a "gummed up engine with dirty oil" there. If you don't use proper tools and maintenance eventually it will not work at it's peak performance.

What I pray for now is that my book will be published one day to reach those of you that have had trauma in their lives. I've been there and know the struggles you go through. But until then, seek out knowledge and answers for the help you need. Your life is more important than what others think.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

BOOK REVEAL AND A GIVEAWAY!!!

This reveal is so exciting for me because Alexis Bass is one of my amazing critique partners. She is the first in our group to be published and her book is coming out on December 31 of this year! This story is truly one of the best stories I've read in a long time.


Here it is...





Here is the blurb:

If you want more, you have to give less.
That’s the secret to dating in high school. By giving as little as they expect to get in return, seventeen-year-old Aubrey Housing and her three best friends have made it to the second semester of their senior year heartbreak-free. And it’s all thanks to a few simple rules: don’t commit, don’t be needy, and don’t give away your heart.
So when smoking-hot Nathan Diggs transfers to Lincoln High, it shouldn't be a big deal. At least that’s what Aubrey tells herself. But Nathan’s new-boy charm, his kindness, and his disarming honesty throw Aubrey off her game and put her in danger of breaking the most important rule of all: Don’t fall in love.


Giveaway:

Enter to win Alexis' giveaway of $50 to a book retailer of your choice by following this link: a Rafflecopter giveaway

A little about Alexis:

Alexis Bass grew up in Washington, went to college in Arizona, and spent her early twenties in Seattle. She currently lives in Northern California with Dylan McKay, her gorgeous and rambunctious golden retriever. She loves good fashion and good TV as much as a good book, and is a huge advocate of the three C’s: coffee, chocolate, and cheese. LOVE AND OTHER THEORIES is her first novel. Visit her at www.alexisbassbooks.com or on Twitter@alexisbasswrite

LOVE AND OTHER THEORIES is available for pre-order:
Barnes & Noble

Congrats Alexis!! This is so awesome!!!!

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

What Memorial Day means to me.

It's suppose to be a day to honor all those that have died for this country. The ones that gave all and sacrificed his/her life for the freedom of this country.

Some honor veterans that are still alive. This isn't their day and for most feel very uncomfortable being honored on the same day as our fallen hero's. Veteran's Day is in November. That is when we show our appreciation for their service.

I'd like to take Memorial Day a step further and honor all those that have lost a loved one at war. Family and friends of our fallen hero's still have to find a way to move forward without them. They have a bigger stake in the day. They are at the cemeteries putting flowers on the graves. They are the ones that hold their memories. They feel the loss the most.

Maybe I dare to take it one step further and have a minute of silence for those that were there when the fallen hero's death occurred. They endured the same experience but were spared. They may live with survivor's guilt and struggle with it every day. This includes those that have killed their own by accident in a heated battle and chaos of war. Living with these traumatic experiences can alter and devastate so many lives.

I hope and pray for all of those people that have lost one of these American hero's that they find peace in their lives. My wish for them is to wade through any devastation their hero's death may have caused and learn to live life to the fullest with peace and joy which honors them in the best possible way.

I honor you!



Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Zest

Live your life with zest. Give it all you got and don't let fear or day-to-day tasks get in the way. Life is short and we don't get do-overs. If you have children, love them while they are at home even if they make it difficult. If you have a significant other, love them and take care of them as much as you can. People are the most important thing in our lives and showing them love is a great way to build relationships that sustain us through trying times.

Thank you for reading my posts!

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Yes

Say yes to something you want to try but are too afraid to do it. I recently did this and I had an amazing, fun time that plastered a smile on my face. We all have opportunities to do something we want but fear of some sort holds us back. Every once in a while say, "yes." You might experience something so worth while that could change your life.

Monday, April 28, 2014

Xanadu

Xanadu is described as a place of great beauty, luxury, and contentment. I think we would all love to go there but life doesn't always work out like that. But there is a way to visit and reduce stress and that's by closing your eyes and envisioning whatever your Xanadu is. Slowly breathe in deeply through your nose, pause, and slowly pushing the air out through your mouth. Go into details of what your Xanadu looks like. Who is there with you? What does it look like? What is the temperature and weather like?

How did it feel?

Saturday, April 26, 2014

Walking Meditation

A walking meditation is one where you walk with your head up and no distractions. Walk along and notice every little detail you can. Only thinking about that detail nothing else can interfere. The purpose of this is to quiet the mind, to learn to focus on what's right before you, taking the time to enjoy this helps with stress, and learning that there is another way to live and get perspective on your life.

Try doing this sometime today. It doesn't have to be long. Every bit of time will be a benefit.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Volunteer

My husband is an Iraqi war veteran. When he was deploying the American Red Cross came to speak with everyone on their services that they provided. At the end, they let everyone know that they are always looking for volunteers. I decided to volunteer in the Service to the Armed Forces program. This program helped military members and their families to get in touch with each other in the case of an emergency while on deployment.

In the middle of dealing with a difficult situation for me and our kids, I was able to help people dealing with really emergencies. It helped me to keep perspective as well as a sense of purpose. I didn't receive a lot of calls but when I did it really made a difference in my life.

I'm not saying to volunteer for the Red Cross but there are tons of other places that always need help. Find something that interests you and help out for a few hours. Feel the difference it makes.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

Unload

This exercise is a great one to reduce stress and lift the pressure from your shoulders. If you unload on people you may momentarily feel good, but it is very destructive and unhealthy. It will give people the feeling that you aren't safe to be around.

The best way to unload is to journal it. Don't be frightened by the word journal. Just get several pieces of paper and begin getting everything off your chest about everything and everyone that bothers you.  Don't censor yourself. Let it all out.  When you are done begin ripping the paper into pieces. With each rip tell yourself that you are leaving those issues and problems on the page. They will no longer follow you around. This will give you a stress relief for the short term. You'll need to address those issues head-on before you can make peace for good.

Try this exercise and see how you feels.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Thank someone

Another way to take care of yourself is to thank someone. We have people that are in our daily lives that do things over and over. We may become accustom to them handling this tasks so much so that we don't see that it warrants a thank-you anymore. Letting our loved ones know that we appreciate their effort is a great connection-building tool.

Say thank you to as many loved ones as you can today! Maybe you'll get one back.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Support system

Another way to take care of yourself is to bring in a strong support system to help you through life's up's and down's. This can be hard especially if you've had a lot of bad in your life. Finding someone and trusting them to be on your side is hard to do.

So how can you do this and trust a person?

You start out with visualizing rings and group people according to how they treat you not by the title they have. You can have an inner circle and only those that have shown that they are trustworthy belong here. They can know everything about you that you want to share. Then the next ring could be people that get to know some things about you but not everything. Keep moving people out further and further grouping them by how they treat you and whether they have your back or not.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Relax

 With our hectic lives we rarely take time to relax. Taking the time can recharge our batteries so that we can keep going. Relaxing also give you a chance to see how we are so overbooked and overscheduled. Take the time to look at those overbooked and overscheduled tasks and decide if they are truly important. Eliminate those tasks that aren't important.

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Question everything

I learned so much by questioning everything in my life. I learned that I did things because that's what I was taught and from that I learned some of these things didn't really work in my life. I learned the reasons behind my choices. I learned where I put my attention in this life.

This technique is amazing. Start looking at why you do the things you do. It will be eye opening.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Passion

Most of us doing this challenge has found our passion in writing. My passion is to help others find peace after dealing with trauma or giving tools for them to deal with life.

What happens if you're not sure you have found your passion?

Start thinking about things that make you happy. Make a list. Investigate. What can you do for hours and time flies? Don't interfere with this and try and manipulate the findings. It will delay you. Ride it out and see what happens. Maybe you have a passion you've never thought about.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Open your eyes

What I mean by open your eyes is to start focusing on what's before you. We carry on conversations while doing other things. We are missing important and joyous experiences by doing this.

We are all busy and you don't have to do this every time. Try doing this ever so often and see what you're missing. You may even want to incorporate this into your life once you do.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Nature

We are half-way through our challenge of taking care of ourselves. The next challenge is nature. When we are out in nature it gives us several positives we may not even be aware of like, it calms the mind, gives us presences, and we can meditate.

Calming the mind from the chaos is hard to do. We have worries, to-do list, and issues that roll around in our heads while we do our daily tasks. Being in nature helps shed some of the chaos.

Presence is the state where all the chaos is gone and that we notice little things that we by-passed without the baggage of our lives.

Meditate out in nature is called a walking meditation. It's letting everything go and notice and acknowledge the things we see and sitting in those brief moments.

All this give our brain a break but more importantly we will feel less stress and life feels more manageable.

Your challenge is to go for a walk in nature whether it be at the ocean, in the woods, or at a park. See how it feels.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Meditation

In the beginning, I thought meditation was for spiritual leaders, monks, or people like that. It was suppose to have healing power but I didn't know how. I cautiously tried it. I was blown away. It actually works. I'm not into deep mediational practices. I meditate when I need a break from the chaos of life. My purpose for using meditation is to quiet the mind. It does take practice but every little moment you have with no noise is a win.

I learned meditation from Gabrielle Bernstein. She has a ton of helpful videos and information on her website.

Today's challenge is to go to that website and find a meditation to try. You won't regret it.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Laugh

Everyone knows that laughing brings down stress levels. Laughing brings joy. Laughing is a great way to take care of yourself.

It's not so easy if your life is filled with chaos or negative experiences. We need to be mindful and seek out ways to laugh. This momentary break can shift away from those negative feelings and emotions that we deal with.

Today, I'll encourage you to find something that will bring laughter into your life.

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Saturday, April 12, 2014

Kindness

We get so busy in our lives and our stuff. We run here and there. We may hold a door for someone or we may let someone go ahead of us. These are great examples of kindness. But to really get the benefit of kindness we need to sit in the moment. We need to look people in the eyes. We need to smile.

You may wonder why this is important. It's important because taking these moments in with the eye contact and the smile gives you a more completed experience. It's bigger. In these moments, we can feel joy, connection to others, and a little bit of peace. It's a moment that can briefly take you away from our negative stuff.

Try it and see the difference.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Joy

Finding joy may be something you don't even think about. It's a great way to give yourself a little gift and change your outlook. You may wonder where can you find these little gifts of joy. You may be shocked to learn that they are everywhere. You just have to look for them and recognized it.

Do you have children? Watch them when they don't know you're looking. Do you like going out in nature somewhere? Look for things there. Watch someone achieve a goal and feel their joy.

Searching for these little gifts will shift your focus from your everyday chaos to little moments of peace.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

I is for Inspire

Inspiring others to find peace has been my mission since I found peace for myself. We all endure hard times from time to time. Sometimes we endure life changing experiences that unravel our lives and those experiences stick with us. Finding peace seems far from reality. Surviving our day to day becomes our reality.

Hang in there if you are one of them that is surviving. There are so many that have survived too. I pray that my book will be published because it's designed to help you. Follow my blog or follow me on twitter and when this becomes a reality I'll tell you about it.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Hope

Finding hope in today's climate can be a struggle. It seems like we tend to go from one issue to another without getting a break to find hope. I believe with the help of gratitude and other spiritual techniques we can have hope be apart of our daily lives but it has to be cultivated.

You can find hope today if you seek out things to be grateful for. Find things that you can be proud of. If you can't, then you need to make changes. If you can't maybe you need to start simple and find a small thing that makes you feel gratitude. Start there and continue to cultivate it in your life.

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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Graditude

One of the most important thing you can do for yourself is to find things to be grateful for. If we think about all the things we have in our life and learn to find these things in almost everything, we can learn to find joy. We can learn to see the blessing we have. Our focus shifts to something other than the negative that seems to be our focus in life.

So today's challenge it to find ten things to be grateful for. Try to be specific and try to find it in everything you do today. See if you can go past ten things.

Let me know how you did. Hop over to my Facebook page and hit the Like button to continue to getting these challenges that improve your life in your newsfeed.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Today's challenge is to allow yourself one of your favorites.

We spend a lot of time not doing our favorite things because they may be indulgent like, eating our favorite food, doing our favorite activity, or eating a desert. Every once in a while treat yourself. Let yourself enjoy life without fear of guilt. Giving this gift to yourself is a good way to pamper yourself and recharge your batteries.

What is your favorite? What can you do today to pamper yourself?

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Challenge #5 is Engage

Today your challenge is to find someone you love and engage them in a conversation without interference--no cell phones, no T.V. Nothing between you and face to face.

We are so busy that we have hurried conversations, half-listening and half-hearted. This is a great thing to do with a child. See their face light up when the attention is on them. Give this gift to yourself and to your loved one. See what happens.

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Friday, April 4, 2014

A-Z challenge #4-- Dream

Your fourth challenge is to dream.

In our hectic day to day lives, we've lost our ability to dream. Maybe we feel stuck and thinking about dreaming is far from an option. Today give yourself this gift.

Dream of a trip you've always wanted to take. Dream of the perfect job. Dream of the perfect life. Is there one thing that sticks out more than others? Is there something that you can change to bring this into your life?

The thing to remember is that we won't have the perfect life. We won't have all our ducks in a row. But we can still dream and we can still work toward things that matter. We can still hope.

Today, I will be living my dream. I'm beginning the journey in finding the perfect agent so I can hopefully one day become a published author. I'm sure this will be a journey but I'm ready.

Dream!

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Challenge #3 -- Creativity

Each person has a gift of creativity. Some may argue that isn't always the case. Not everyone can create art or write the great American novel. Creativity is defined by the ability to make new things or think of new ideas. Everyone can do that.

Creating is a way to contribute to the world. What new ideas or what can you make that will contribute to the world? Maybe you create all the time and never see it or acknowledge it. Noticing these moments of creativity can fill you up.

Your third challenge is to notice times of creativity or make something new or come up with a new idea.

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Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Challenge Two - Bravery

Bravery can be defined as a courageous behavior. It can also be defined as excellent, splendid.

When we take care of ourselves, one gift is to be brave. Is there something you've always wanted to try but were afraid? Was there a story you wanted to tell but figured no one would want to read it? Letting fear decide whether you do something or not limits us from greatness.

One thing to remember is if it's in your heart, it was put there on purpose. Follow those dreams and see where it leads you.

Your second challenge is to be brave and try that one thing that you've always wanted to try but was afraid to. Be brave.

Hop over to my Facebook page and click the Like button to continue to get the daily challenges in taking care of yourself.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

First Challenge if you choose to except it is...an act of kindness!

A way to take care of yourself is allowing yourself to feel joy. Doing an act of kindness is a great way to do this. It can be scary but if your intention is to do this act without any thought of what's in for me or even what your belief of an outcome should be then whatever happens isn't the point. Doing the act is the point. And then see what happens! 

Your challenge is to find someone and do an act of kindness. It can be for someone you don't know, or for someone that deserves kindness, or for someone that you feel really DOESN'T deserve the kindness.

The hardest part of doing something you don't normally do is trying to come up with ideas. It may feel foreign to you. Helping a little old lady in a grocery store or just talking to her can be an idea. Seeing a struggling mother deal with an unruly child and telling her you've been there (if you have) or simply say, "hang in there. It will get better," could make a difference. Seeing a soldier and telling him that you appreciate his service. Simply opening a door and allowing someone to go in before you is a kindness. These are just a few ideas to help get the ball rolling.

I'd love to hear what your act was and how you felt doing it.

Remember if you would like to continue the challenge throughout the month jump over to my new Facebook page and click the Like button to get the challenges in your newsfeed each day.

Sunday, March 30, 2014

A-Z Challenge starts Tuesday

For those unfamiliar of the A-Z challenge. It's a group of bloggers that support each other for twenty-six days. Each blogger posts according to the letter of the day. The first day it's A. The second it's B. And so on.


My theme this year is taking care of yourself.

Everyday I will suggest an idea or act to encourage readers to try something new to improve your life. It will be a simple act just to give you a chance to try some you may have never tried before.

I will post on this blog along with my new Facebook page:  Healing Perspective. If you click the like button on my Facebook page you will receive the months post in your news feed and won't have to try and find this blog again.

We can be stuck in our day to day lives. Doing the same thing everyday. Overworked and overwhelmed. This is an opportunity to break out from that and bring a little hope into your life. I hope to see you throughout the month.

Hope to hear from you soon!

Sunday, February 16, 2014

Significance

Coming off the Valentine holiday, I was really bothered by what I had noticed. This holiday is suppose to be about love but I found several commercials playing on people's insecurities. "Buy the biggest bouquet of flowers or the best gift to make the co-workers of your significant other jealous." Or "Is your wife still a member of the tiny diamond club?"

Why do people buy into these tactics? One word--significance. If they have the biggest bouquet or the most expensive piece of jewelry, or something that makes them seem better than someone else in their group, they feel significant. They feel they matter. They feel like they are apart of something special.

So is this a bad thing?

Feeling significant, and that you matter and that your are apart of something special is a human need everyone seeks. How and where you get it matters. If your focus is on the item and the status it brings, then this is a bad thing. If your focus is on the person giving the gift and what it meant to them to give this gift, then you are heading in a healthy direction. When you focus on the item you miss a bigger gift that is more sustaining than status. Status is fleeting and you continue to try and find it again somewhere, somehow. If your focus is on building love with the giver of the gift, you're headed in the right direction. If you can get the same gift anywhere and have the same feeling then you are heading in the right direction. People that you love should always be your focus not those that don't really matter. If someone is always trying to one up you, then they don't matter. They are focusing on the fear-based mindset of not fitting in or feeling special. If you are one of these people, don't fret. You've just became aware and now can change.

How can you change?

By focusing on your loved ones and not those that don't matter. You can give those you love a special gift by showing them your appreciation instead of taking away what they've done for you by focusing on the satisfaction of revenge to those that don't matter.

I would love to hear from you. How did you show your loved one your best this Valentine holiday?